"There is a small society made of A, B, C, D and E. They are shallow
people, their activities are regular and topics of their conversations
are trivial. But A feels different about himself. He has a lot of
visions and thoughts, he spends much time in solitude, exploring the
unseen at the bottom of his imagination. He is filled with self-doubt,
because his environment continuously teaches him, that any kind of
prominence is not really welcome. Therefore, every ambitious piece of
his mind remains hidden and well protected, in order to avoid painful
repercussions from society he lives in. The worry of exposing his true
self lies in a memory of experience. Everytime he feels a need to share
some of his deeper knowledge, he reminds himself of two situations.
First, when C, D and E had nothing to respond and criticized his
behavior and second, when B criticized his behavior instantly. These
situations made A care about his thoughts and not reveal them, becoming
like the rest of his society.
But he had no idea, that B feels different about himself too. He has a
lot of visions and thoughts, he spends much time in solitude, exploring
the unseen at the bottom of his imagination. He is filled with
self-doubt, because his environment continuously teaches him, that any
kind of prominence is not really welcome. Therefore, every ambitious
piece of his mind remains hidden and well protected, in order to avoid
painful repercussions from society he lives in. The worry of exposing
his true self lies in a memory of experience. Everytime he feels a need
to share some of his deeper knowledge, he reminds himself of two
situations. First, when A, D and E had nothing to respond and criticized
his behavior and second, when C criticized his behavior instantly.
These situations made B care about his thoughts and not reveal them,
becoming like the rest of his society.
But they had no idea, that C, then D and then E feel the same about
themselves, constantly reminding themselves situations, when group had
nothing to respond and the closest person criticized their behavior
instantly. They all live in fear, solitude and self-doubt, full of care
and drawing from their experiences, certain, that sharing some of
anyone's deeper knowledge results in pain and disappointment.
But why?"
From "A Small Bird in the Nether"
